verb (used with object), blamed, blaming.
1. to hold responsible; find fault with; censure:
I don’t blame you for leaving him.
2. to place the responsibility for (a fault, error, etc.) (usually followed by on):
I blame the accident on her.
3. Informal. blast; damn (used as a mild curse):
Blame the rotten luck.
4. an act of attributing fault; censure; reproof:
The judge said he found nothing to justify blame in the accident.
5. responsibility for anything deserving of censure:
We must all share the blame for this deplorable condition.
6. to blame, at fault; censurable:
I am to blame for his lateness.
Blame is a rather odd concept, wouldn’t you agree?
A conditioning or man made construct.
If I’m not to blame, then you must be, correct?
And if you’re not to blame, I must be.
Or some other element is.
Is this always true?
In this dualistic world of ours, if it’s not a positive, it must be a negative.
Can something simply happen without there being any blame?
If you’re not to blame, can I also, not be to blame?
If I’m not to blame and you’re not to blame, then perhaps it just is. It’s something that happened and no-ones to blame. It may even have seemed like a good idea at the time, that went horribly skew-whiff, does someone have to then be blamed?
I’m guessing not.
When you’re in a place of blaming others, where does that leave responsibility of self?
Look at the language too of the body when pointing the finger at someone else. There are how many fingers pointing back at you.
For years I blamed my husband for my lot in life, or the lack there of. The way I felt, miserable, depressed, dead inside, to name just a few, was all his fault.
Everything wretched in my life was his doing. He broke my heart. He destroyed my happily ever after. He had sex with men for fuck sakes. He was the father of my children. He was who I depended on. He had me trapped.
What is it about blaming someone else that has us manipulating who we be?
Why do we give away our power like that?
So we can play the victim, the innocent bystander, the good girl/boy, the winner?
Where does blame actually get us in life?
Small, trapped, fearful, irresponsible, guilt free?
If we removed blame from our lives, what would this give us?
Power, freedom, choice, responsibility, self love?
Which do you prefer, blame or responsibility?
Which is the most empowering?
Why limit ourselves in such a way?
Interesting, as I’m writing this there are two young voices outside yelling at each other. After a few moments, dad (possibly) comes out and yells at the girl. “What are you doing? Why are you doing that to your brother?” She tries to explain, all I can hear her crying is “you don’t understand”.
I’ve never heard them interact like that before now. Actually I don’t recall having heard them outside at all.
It’s left me contemplating…
Is this too what blame is, a miss-understanding?
Do you play the blame game?
Do you blame others for your lot in life?
Point the finger?
Or do you accept responsibility for your self?
If you’re a blamer, what does blame give you?