1. either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated with reference to the reproductive functions.
2. the sum of the structural and functional differences by which the male and female are distinguished, or the phenomena or behavior dependent on these differences.
3. the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct.
verb (used with object)
6. to ascertain the sex of, especially of newly-hatched chicks.
7. sex up, Informal.
a. to arouse sexually:
The only intent of that show was to sex up the audience.
b. to increase the appeal of; to make more interesting, attractive, or exciting:
We’ve decided to sex up the movie with some battle scenes.
8. to have sex, to engage in sexual intercourse.
Now that I have your attention, I got curious to see what kind of topics peek your interest most.
Is sex one of them?
Me, I love sex.
I love the way sex merges you with another on such a deep an intimate level and I’m not just referring to the physical here either. It’s the way too, you get transported to another realm.
Sextopia perhaps, in the land of Orgasmatron!
In all seriousness, it’s about the shift to full sexual power, sexual presence and sexual pleasure in the absolute present, the now. That’s what I love.
The way two (or more, as we are all about choice here, not dogma) bodies entwine and entangle themselves in hot juicy passion, lost to the outside world.
Not to downplay the solo artist. The experience of the solo artist is as steamy and succulent as any other.
Plus it’s how you learn what your body likes and doesn’t like, through self exploration, trial and error.
Sex is about knowing your own body, inside and out.
How it works.
What it enjoys and how it enjoys it.
Solo and partnered (or partners).
Communication is key, between all parties. If you’re not effectively and openly communicating what’s going on for you, what you’re enjoying, what you’d like different.
A little to the left.
A little to the right.
That’s the spot!
How it’s feeling for you and vice versa.
How can you create mind blowing sex?
You do however create mediocre sex.
If you’re having sex at all.
Listening to your body that’s also key. I bet you’ll find your sexual experiences heightened when you listen to your bodies responses, guidance and desires, rather than telling it what you want, if you’re not already.
Trust your bodies innate way of communicating with you.
Does it feel pleasurable?
Are you aroused?
Are you wet?
Really wet and lubricated well?
Or bone dry?
What stage are you at?
Still in warm up?
Ready to move on?
Bring it on?
Not into it at all?
I do often wonder though, why sex and or the talking about it, still conjures up such taboo, in this day and age?
Yet we know from such massive hits like Fifty Shades of Grey, or the likes of Sexpo, people are definitely interested in sex!
Why then the lack of real, honest, everyday talking about sex?
Sex is a natural part of life. It’s how we came to being.
Sex is life force.
It’s communing in body language. With self and with others.
Please note, in all this chatter about sex, I’m talking about sex between consenting adults.
As I said before, I love sex. For the past few years though I haven’t engaged in it nearly as much as I would like to, purely for lack of energy on my part. Another reason to be increasing my energy stores and stat.
Sex for many, is filled with shame, regret, remorse, unworthiness, fear, inexperience, confusion and utter distain – especially if it is paid for. Which I’ve never understood. Anyone who works in a job, regardless of what they are doing, is selling their body. If you are an adult in full consent of this line of work, what’s the problem? Sex workers are service providers like any other service provider. I’m certain the distain, is purely fear based.
These projections, they’re coming from internal as well as external.
Internally, again like many other aspects of our lives, self sex shaming and so forth is conditioned. Meaning it began externally and bullied its self internally. It’s actually not your stuff. It’s others projecting their stuff onto you. Then some how you manage to take it on board as your own. You own it.
Interestingly too, the externals, they’re usually directed at women. A woman who engages in sex with multiple partners, regularly, is labeled a slut, a whore, a nymphomaniac and more.
Men on the other hand are congratulated, encouraged, lived up to, celebrated and revered for their ability to play the field, so to speak.
Why is this so?
Who makes it so?
Again, as explored in my piece, Silver Linings, we make it so.
We allow this imbalance amongst the sexes to exist.
It’s time to reclaim our sexual power.
Our sexual rights as women.
It’s time to reclaim our sexual power.
Our sexual rights as men.
Not abuse them.
It’s time to reclaim our sexual power.
Our sexual rights as people.
Reclaim our bliss.
Reclaim our sexual energy, our sexual healing.
To be held so intently, so intimately, I imagine could be scary for some. Masks are off (unless some role play is at hand), bodies are naked (usually), there’s no hiding (except for those erogenous zones). Lights could be out, senses are on, heightened and erect (in one form or another). Rawness, realness and instinct prevail.
I’m no expert when it comes to sex, fortunately I have some fabulous friends who are sex positive and sex assured and we can discuss any topic on sex openly and authentically without the fear of ridicule nor judgement whatsoever.
I’m also fortunate that a lot of these said friends work in the field of sex, in one form or another. From sex educators, workshop facilitators, authors, film makers, porn stars, to tantrica’s, sex workers, sex geeks, sex therapist and counsellors, to name a few.
My eyes wide opened.
To a degree.
From where my sex comfort zone once was, to where my sex comfort zone is today.
So much more I haven’t experienced or even know about.
Vanilla, with a hint of chocolate would best describe my sex.
When it comes to my sexual energy, I haven’t even begun to tap into its velocity, it’s power nor its magnitude.
The censoring of sex in film I find fascinating too. Blood, gore, torture, war, horror, trauma, death, are easily and abundantly portrayed on the big screen. Sex, ah nope, we can’t screen that, nor that and definitely not that, let alone full frontal genitalia of the sexes. Which isn’t always about sex. Nudity is such taboo too. Right? Go figure. How we came into being and how we came into being, through sex and nudity, they’re our undoings. Our downfalls and what’s wrong with us as a species. Sex and nudity? I don’t get it.
We’ve been so conditioned to except violence in our every day life as the norm.
Sex the enemy.
As the late great John Lennon has also been quoted as saying, “make love not war”.
So then, I ask you, what’s so bad about making love, aka sex?
Not to say that to have sex you have to be making love at the same time either.
Will someone please tell me why so much ado about nothing, a very natural nothing?
Not that I’m saying sex is nothing, you get the gist.
It’s the big deal we are making out of nothing.
As for porn, I’m saving that one for a topic all on its own.
As too sex education, or the lack there of, that also deserves its own topic.
With that, currently in Australia a series has been airing called Luke Warm Sex. This has been brilliant for many a reason:
1, it’s bringing the act of sex into the light and removing some taboo.
2, it’s getting us openly talking about sex.
3, it takes a very open and explorative look at different aspects of sex, not just mainstream sex.
4, it’s a male presenter, openly and authentically sharing his awkwardness, inexperience and vulnerabilities with sex.
5, I get to see some of my fabulous above mentioned friends wielding their sex magic to the world. Experts in their fields. You can check it out on ABC iview.
As brilliantly quoted by the beautiful Cyndi Darnell on the show to the beautiful Luke himself, “you don’t be sticking your fingers in someone’s vagina without warming it up, it’s just good manners”.
I’ve certainly enjoyed watching Luke Warm Sex and received some great tips and pointers so far, like Cyndi’s above (wink!). Not that I’ve ever stuck my fingers in someone’s vagina. That’s not to say I never will.
Over the years I’ve come to realise, never, is such a loaded word. I don’t ever like to say or believe in never. I have no idea how my life will evolve or unfold. Whom I could fall in love with.
Ironically though, I never say never!
As mentioned before, I’m no (s)expert! I’m an interested party and thought this topic may be of interest to you. It’s definitely not an in depth exploration either. It’s generalised and brief.
If done properly, what’s not to love?
How do you feel about sex?
Are you okay talking openly about sex?
Is sex important in your life?
When engaging in sex, do you listen to your body or are you the director, dictator?