1. act or the state of expecting:
to wait in expectation.
2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.
3. an expectant mental attitude:
a high pitch of expectation.
4. something expected; a thing looked forward to.
5. Often, expectations. a prospect of future good or profit:
to have great expectations.
6. the degree of probability that something will occur:
There is little expectation that he will come.
7. Statistics. mathematical expectation
The above definitions of expectation sound relatively innocent, do they not?
When in reality, for me, I’ve become blatantly aware of how fluid my life actually is. I mean, I’ve known this for a long time, the only control I have in any given situation, is how I choose to respond to what’s happening around me and even then I can still fall back into reaction mode, if I’m not fully present to myself.
Fortunately I’m in a place where my response time is well and truly taking over my reaction time. Plain and simply, I can be me. The real me. No filters. No pretence. No expectations.
Over many rotations of the sun however, I’ve been perplexed by this overwhelming need to control the situation, completely. In other words, I expect life to go a certain way. I’m imagining what will happen before it even happens. Hmm, imagining is too soft, I expect things to happen a certain way and if they don’t, I’m left feeling, disappointed, shocked, surprised, amused, bewildered, at a loss, relieved – a whole range of emotions. Usually for me, more often than not, it’s of the negative kind.
I wouldn’t have to go through any of these emotions if I met the situation with no expectations whatsoever in the first place.
Not forgetting too, the expectations I place on myself in any given moment, to be brilliant, wise, funny, open, smart, succinct, sexy, strong – yet not too masculine, youthful, knowledgeable, creative, articulate, energised, healthy, rested, loving, caring, empathetic, available, know exactly what to say and when to say it, put others first, the good girl, perfect. In truth, I expected myself to be better than all of this.
What is it with us human beings and our programming, conditioning, control, manipulation – expectations?
When did we become so guarded, so rigid, so expecting?
So not like our true selves?
With every expectation comes a judgment too.
If I’m expecting an event to go a certain way and it doesn’t, I’m more than likely to pass judgment on you as to why you behaved the way you did when the outcome differed to my expectation.
Is there a lack of responsibility associated with expectation too?
A giving away of power?
Is that it?
Well, if that’s the case, I now fully take back my power and delete any residual need, desire, want for or attempted expectation I place upon anyone, anything, anyhow and live in the right here, right now, for ever shall I be at peace.
If only life were that simple.
And yes for some, maybe it is.
I do my best. As I imagine you do your best too.
I’m certainly going to keep practising deleting the need for any expectation in my life.
I am grateful.
I am enough.
How about you?