grateful

[greyt-fuh l]

adjective

1. warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received;
thankful:
I am grateful to you for your help.

2. expressing or actuated by gratitude:
a grateful letter.

3. pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing:
a grateful breeze.

Source: Dictionary.com

Grateful.

To be grateful is one of my life long authentic states of being.

I must admit, it hasn’t always been that way.

For many a year growing up and into my adulthood, I don’t recall being grateful for much at all. I was more likely being its complete opposite!

I certainly had an attitude. An attitude that was definitely or more appropriately, defiantly, miles away from one of gratitude, that’s for sure. My essence ran deeply into the negatives. I’d pfft if things didn’t go my way (to put it mildly) and I’d pfft if things did. Surely they could have been better than what they were, right? There’s always bigger, better, brighter, you get the gist.

Over the past several years now, I’ve been consciously developing my relationship with gratitude, the quality of feeling and being grateful.

I do my best every morning, as my feet touch the floor upon rising, to be present with how grateful I am to be here celebrating another day. Not just any day, it’s a victory day on this Earth when I get to breathe another one in, then another, then another, and another…

I know it’s somewhat cliché to say this, nonetheless I’m going to anyway, not everyone who comes into this wonderful world of ours, gets to live as long as I have thus far and for that, I am truly, deeply and thoroughly grateful to have done so. To be here today, able to say that, cliché or not, is a precious achievement gifted to, hmm, not everyone, not everyone receives the gift that was gifted to me.

I have everything I need. All my requirements are filled. I have food, air, water, clothing, shelter, safety, security, family, friends, intimacy, love, (love of self, love of others, love from others). Confidence, freedom, self respect, universal life force, connection to the Divine, to nature.

In no particular order…
I can walk, talk, drive, sit, swim, run, dance, sing, swing on a swing, jump, think, feel, see, hear, roller skate, cycle, sleep, breathe, sneeze, sniff, laugh, cry, write, smile, skip, frown, burp, fart, snore, shout, lay about!

I can touch, lick, sip, slurp, suck, sigh, wink, wear makeup, dream, get dressed, get undressed, shop, play, travel, meditate, fantasize, masturbate, sense, listen, move, eat, drink, gargle, make love, have sex, blow raspberries, shock, inspire, motivate, challenge, question, investigate, imagine, communicate, wash, rinse, repeat, replicate, rejuvenate, start new, keep going, expire, perspire, smell, shed, desire, retire, heal, in body, mind, soul and spirit, past, present and future, love.

What’s not to be grateful for?

And that’s clearly only the tip of the iceberg.

So for me, in as many moments as I can, I practice being grateful.

My first reaction at times may still be, “good on ya dickhead”, when someone cuts me off in traffic, for example. Then as quickly, I shift my response to being grateful, for whatever may be. That we didn’t actually collide. That my brakes do indeed work and I know some limited sign language with excellent hand-to-eye coordination! That I didn’t beat up on myself for reacting rather than responding. For remembering in every second, I have choice. React or respond? That I’m continually reprogramming the way I be and changing my brain.

I actually don’t need to know why I’m grateful. I simply appreciate that I get to be and feel grateful.

I am grateful.

No-one or no-thing is left feeling ungrateful. Every night, as I return to bed, as my feet leave the floor, I’m grateful for all that has transpired throughout my day and give thanks.

The people in my life, I’m grateful. The things in my life, I’m grateful. The experiences, I’m grateful. Everything in my life, and I literally mean everything, I’m grateful.

My light, my dark, my shadow, my good, my bad, my ugly, my Saint, my sinner, my maiden, slut, whore, witch, mother, bitch, Tomboy, wife, lover, teacher, student, Priestess, Queen, child, grown up, sister, daughter, wild woman, jerk, dick, my beauty, strengths, weaknesses, successes, mistakes, total fuck-ups, my masculine, my feminine, being vanilla, chocolate, rainbow, straight, bent, queer, I’m grateful.

Your light, your dark, your shadow, your good, your bad, your ugly, your Saint, your sinner, your maiden, slut, whore, witch, mother, bitch, Tomboy, wife, lover, teacher, student, Priestess, Queen, child, grown up, sister, daughter, wild woman, jerk, dick, your beauty, strengths, weaknesses, successes, mistakes, total fuck-ups, your masculine, your feminine, being, vanilla, chocolate, rainbow, straight, bent, queer, I’m grateful.

The whole lot, the whole of me, the whole of you.

In gratitude.

Grateful…

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