Hello beautiful people,
Welcome to 2013!
Can you believe we are here already?
I know it has been ages since you’ve heard anything from me and I know too I’ve said over and over again I would do my best to improve in this area. When I’ve said to you I’ll post more regularly I fully believed I would and had every intention of doing so…life it appeared…had other plans for me!
Last year I spent a lot of time within myself, trying to figure out why I could say one thing and do another! Or why I seemed to be an all or nothing kind of gal! Why it was in areas of my being I believed I had moved through, healed, released, forgiven, accepted, loved unconditionally (mainly myself!) and so forth, was I still doing the same old-same old?
Berating, belittling, conforming, cowering, and overwhelmingly so…fearing my own existence? Such a depressive state to be in!
Sometimes I could spend weeks basking in the light, then whamo, totally out of the blue, I’d be sideswiped and thrust into the darkness once more, cursing myself for allowing this to happen as I was so together now…a master of my own making!
How was it possible for darkness to be upon me once more and for so damn long?
What I’ve come to realise is I have got it all together, healed, released, forgiven, accepted and so forth…on the conscious level!
Now it is time for me to truly get it at my core, my very being, my subconscious level (which I consciously believed I’d done – D’oh!) if I’m ever going to stop these cycles and patterns from continually taking over my life.
So that’s where my focus, intention, energy and action lay this year. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest if it takes me all year to achieve this. As long as I am moving towards remembering who I am and why I’m here… I’ll keep moving forward.
Please note (as also mentioned in previous posts) I do not for one minute believe darkness should not exist at all. I’m all for balance. For to know the light I am fully aware I am to know the dark as well. As I’ve said on several occasions in previous posts too, I understand that’s where my growth comes from – the dark. What growth is there to be had in the light where everything is beautiful, balanced and sparkly?
As I walk ahead I welcome the dark as much as I do the light – with its new challenges and new growth.
It’s the continuous ground hog day that does my head in!
Thankfully loving my bisexual husband continues to be one of the easiest and most natural things for me to do, even on my darkest days.
Following my purpose, being at my best and my healthiest is where my patterns of self-worth, fear and anxiety come into play. The all mighty ‘who does she think she is?’
Well enough is enough and I believe by sharing this with you today I hold myself accountable to not only myself, you as well.
I do choose to make a difference. I do choose to follow my purpose. I do choose to shout to the world how living and loving my bisexual husband is a healthy happy way of being.
Sexual Biversity is in its infancy!
I have so much more to offer you, so much more to give, so much more to share with you that I will not give up.
Thank you for sticking it out with me.
Thank you for continuing to check in and read my posts knowing ‘she’ll be back one of these days’!
Well today is that day!
May 2013 be all for you, as it is going to be for me…light and dark…in balance.
I choose love.
In staying accountable to us both, I’m going to write another blog post for you to read…tomorrow!
Big love & huge hugs,
‘practice what you passion’®