Hello beautiful people,

For those of us residing in the Southern hemisphere, winter, (brrr!), is well and truly upon us.

Traditionally I’m not a winter gal. In fact last year I was fortunate to spend 2 out of the 3 months of winter in a warmer, sunnier and dryer climate in the Northern parts of NSW, wearing for the most part – shorts and a t-shirt!

This year a different fortune has fallen upon me.

I’ve decided to embrace winter.

What the!

Yep, that’s right, as a non-winterest, (my own word – just cause I like it!) I’m going to embrace winter with all that I’ve got and all that I am.

In doing so I’ve decided to listen to my being, expanding and contracting as need be. I’m even going as far as to give myself permission to retreat to my cave, under the proviso I will not dwell in there, especially when my time is up or winter is over!

I’m determined to do this without the need to apologise for it, feel guilty about it, or berate myself in any way, shape or form.

I’m going to allow myself to go into the darkness, the cold, wet and dreary darkness of winter.

What’s the point of resisting? Only ever manages to send me gaga anyway. Plus who knows what I may end up finding.

Having suffered terribly with depression over the years, (thankfully not in the extreme for many a year now) I am well aware I’m also a being who is easily prone to the challenges of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) during winter. Not every year, though this year I can already feel the piercing talons beginning to scratch at my flesh warning me of the dangers, if I don’t set myself free.

Normally, which is what exactly?! I would resist winter with all my might, whinge and whine and crave the light.  This year I say bring it on! If this is a part of who I am and how I choose to live my life, then so be it. For isn’t life all about cycles and rhythms anyway?

Hmm…I’m making it sound like I live in a part of the world that doesn’t see daylight for months at a time. Just so we’re clear here, I don’t…just feels like it!

The challenge I see now, is how do I do this the easy way? It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom, the world is ending. It’s only winter for goodness sake…one season of the year…three months in fact…that’s it!

I can enjoy this time of going within, right? Embracing the dark…yes?

Hmm, so how will I do this?

I know, how about a new perspective perhaps? I’ve always viewed SAD from such a disheartening, negative, life sucking, depleting viewpoint! I guess that’s due to the nature of the name. I wonder what would happen if I was to reclaim SAD as my own, from a totally new light (so to speak!)? Create a new meaning to it. How about Super Abundance Days or Sunlight After Dark!

Mmm, feels different already! What do you think?

I guess I could also choose to focus on the things I do enjoy about winter rather than focusing on the things I don’t. Surely that would make it easier.

I love wearing my knee high boots, my pattern tights, putting on my hat, scarf and gloves. Oops! I’ve just realised the picture I created and I’m wondering if you think that’s how I go out during winter time, only wearing my knee high boots, pattern tights, hat, scarf and gloves! If only life were that simple!

I love getting closer with Andrew!

I love that no matter what the sky looks like, my big back yard, the one beyond my garden gate looks stunning any time of the year. I love a hearty meal, though I’ll miss my smoothies as they’re already starting to get too cold with their frozen ingredients! Woops, derailed myself already…back on track. Ooh, I could always warm them up! Hot smoothies!?

Candles, hot baths, steamy love making sessions, erotica and porn nights…now there’s a thought!

On days when I dare not exit the cave, I can utilise my time effectively by expanding my being. I could read, listen to webinars and blog talk radio shows. I could watch some interesting tid bits (or tit bits!) on the box. I could even do an online course perhaps. I could engage in some quality time with family and friends (on the times I do allow visitors in!). I could blog!

Stop, wait a minute…I’ve got it…I could write my next book! I mean I could begin writing my next book. Took me nine years to write my current one, don’t see myself finishing a new book in one season, in winter no less!

I could meditate, masturbate, breathe deep and rich! Whoa, where did that come from? (No pun intended!). In other words I could really get to know myself…more than I do now.

I could mind map, dream, plan and initiate.

I could cook, clean, de-clutter and rearrange.

At times, I could even do absolutely nothing at all, nada, nicht, zero and zilch!


No judgment, no resistance, no making me wrong.

For I am grateful for the person I am today. How far I’ve come to forgive, let go, trust and love again, especially where my bisexual husband is concerned and yes I know that doesn’t make me perfect or some kind of saint! In fact, I’m so far from perfect and that’s okay, I’m okay.

This winter, for the first time in my life, it’s all okay.

I don’t think I’ve ever really acknowledged the breathing in and out of my life as I do today, or if I have not to the depth of which I do now. Prior to writing Sexual Biversity I was (and to a degree still am) a very private person. It takes a lot out of me to put myself out on public display like I do and lots of courage too. Yes I choose to do so. I choose to do so because I do believe in a good greater than myself and by doing so I truly can make a difference. It’s something I do with an open heart, a healing heart, a loving heart.


So why is this of relevance to you today? Ultimately I believe it’s about taking care of oneself. If you’re anything like me, living and loving your bisexual husband takes a lot of TLC, particularly of self. If you’re not running on optimum you’re on a rocky road. Life, love and relationships, sex, sexuality and sensuality, acceptance, forgiveness, and trust are much smoother when all systems are flow! Recognising what part of us requires tweaking is a great place to start.

How can you handle any challenges, obstacles, threats (real or imagined!), communicate effectively, take responsibility, heal, negotiate, love unconditionally, or decision make of any kind and so forth, if you have stuff consuming you, overwhelming you, stuff like…not liking winter!

Every day I continue to do what is required of me to truly enjoy my life. Embracing winter is one of those things I’m prepared to do!

So let’s see what gifts this winter has to bring.

Big love & huge hugs,


‘practice what you passion’®





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