Hello beautiful people,
Well its been just over a couple of weeks now since the documentary Andrew and I were in, Sex, Lies and Double Lives, (pity about the name really!) first aired on Foxtel Lifestyle YOU and the feedback we have received has been wonderfully uplifting and positive, thank you. Actually I have had no negative feedback whatsoever! Now surely that deserves a woo hoo, woo hoo!
Now of course, you know I wouldn’t be me without having had to contend with some nerves before the show aired, correct? Correct! Though fortunately now in my later years since disclosure, I have pulsing through my veins, one of my all time favorite mantra’s ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’! And boy how I do that one! Oh yes and lets not forgot the good old trusty ‘remember to breath’ that’s definitely a keeper!
Thankfully too it gives me great joy knowing that this is so much bigger than me. I really am only a vessel, okay amongst other things! Though seriously to be able to make a difference, however big or small, in the life of another (lives of others!), simply by sharing my experiences of what it’s like loving my bisexual husband unconditionally, and the gifts I have gained along the way is, well, truly, priceless! Cliché I know, still a goody!
Honestly, living outside the box isn’t nearly as scary as one might originally think. In fact I believe the thought of living outside the box is way much scarier than actually doing it! With that being said, I guess doing it ‘so’ publicly as apposed to semi-publicly or privately (amongst only close family & friends) brings with it a whole different set of challenges to overcome! And overcome I shall! Again, and again and again! Layer, upon layer, upon layer!
I wonder why that is? Why being yourself out in your everyday life is so hard (for some people) to do? Why is it that we sensor ourselves so greatly? Is it purely because we are so afraid of what other people will think of us? Or is it more than that? (I am aware that in some countries it is illegal to be yourself so openly and freely and I acknowledge the challenges that must go with that. For the purpose of this blog I am focusing on our own personal reasons, not any laws, religions or politics that may restrict us).
Thank goodness I’ve stopped doing that! Well for the most part anyway, I’m sure I would be arrested if I didn’t somewhat sensor some parts of myself out in public! Though let me tell you, it certainly hasn’t been easy, being so ‘out’ (and I identify as the straight one!) and at times it has taken some very deep inner strength to do so. The worry of what someone else may think of you can be absolutely crippling at times.
So I’m going to let you in on a little secret of mine, how I got to this place of freedom, if I may be so blunt with you. Here goes. Who cares! No really, who cares. ‘I do’ I hear you say. ‘I care’. Great! As long as you are caring about you, wonderful. I learnt a long time ago that what somebody else thinks of me is absolutely none of my business. If they have a problem with me – then that’s there problem not mine!
Are you breathing? Just checking! If you’re not, this might be a good time to ‘remember to breath’!
And sure I’m not perfect (bugger!) and there are the odd occasions when I do slip up and paranoia or worry sneak up on me, again! I just have to change my focus and remember the truth of who I am and maybe too, work that little bit harder to release those thoughts! Cause bulls-eye! That’s exactly what they are – thoughts!
For some of you this may be old news and to you I say congratulations. To you others still carrying this one around with you, you really don’t have to!
Begin your new regimen today. Start with this one I borrowed from Louise L. Hay, ‘I love and approve of myself completely here and now’. Then just keep reminding yourself that what someone else thinks of you is none of your business. What you think of you is what matters!
The more you can relax and be yourself the easier it gets too.
Oh and before I go, just one more little gem I was reminded of recently too, ‘you are never given more than you can handle’. This I truly beleive as well.
So in signing off. Remember to breath! Feel the fear and do it anyway! (within reason here people – if this is your intuition talking please listen!) and keep smiling!
Love & hugs,
‘practice what you passion’®