Hello beautiful people,

Am I out of my mind?  No, really, am I?  Surely I must be!

In about one hour Andrew and I have a meeting with the director and cameraman from the documentary I was telling you about the other day.  Just to see what it feels like, before we make any firm decisions as to whether we will do it or not.

Again I ask you, am I out of my mind?  I must be crazy.  Who in their right mind would do this?  Who in their right mind would publicly disclose such sexually explicit, intimate details about their relationship?  Especially when it is considered not to be of the ‘norm’ or to some, even pass as moral, all for a greater good, all to make a difference?  And not just once!  Over and over again!

Maybe this has nothing do to with difference making.

For the past hour I’ve been doing everything I can do stop myself from hyperventilating!

I’ve been cleaning ferociously (and the meeting is not even here!).  Like cleaning is in any way beneficial for the prevention of hyperventilating!   I thought if I did some cleaning it would make me focus on what I was doing – cleaning!  Who was I kidding!  Let alone a great way to dispel this nervous energy before I explode, not!

I would have preferred to take the dog for a walk although it has been raining almost nonstop for what seems like days now.

Again I have to ask you, am I out of my mind?

There is that part of me that believes I have to be doing this for a greater good, to make a difference, no matter how big or small.

I am so nervous I could fill this whole post with exclamation marks and forget about writing anything else, as I don’t think there are any words in the English language to truly describe how I am feeling.  Hmm, then again, would a page full of exclamation marks be any better?

I thought going on Insight earlier this year had me quaking in my boots.  But this, OMG! (By the way, OMG stands for Oh My God!).

And this is just a meeting after all.  It’s not even the interview!

What will I be like if we decide to proceed with the documentary?  Oh my, I don’t want to even think about that now!

Okay that’s enough! Stop! Breathe! Relax.

Ah, that’s better.

As you can see I can easily spend way too much time in my head!

If I get out of my head and back into my heart, all is well.

I know with every ounce of my being this is why I am here on this Earth at this time – to be a difference maker.

Allowing doubt and/or fear to creep in, is simply a form of self sabotage.  This is not who I am. It serves me not or anyone else for that matter.

I can do this.  I am doing this.

Do you think this is what it feels like for difference makers, this gamut of emotions?

Thanks for listening to me.  I feel much better already and our meeting is now in about thirty minutes. Phew!

Love & hugs,

Lyndal

‘practice what you passion’®

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